Confession
by Unfinished Perfection
Summary: A letter from Edward to Carlisle on the night before his wedding. Rated T for a slightly detailed description of Edward's last human kill. Reviews are really fun, and flames will be laughed at and possibly put in a blender, If I had one that is.


Carlisle,

My father, my brother, my friend,

To me, you have acted as all of these and then so much more.

For the past century I have wandered, seeking but never finding. Then I met her. Isabella Swan, my beautiful Bella. And as of tomorrow, she will be Isabella Cullen.....Cullen. The name you gave to me. You gave me that name out of nothing more than love. You have loved me since the moment you decided to make me your companion. I will not claim to understand why you love me, even with the advantage of knowing how you think. I stayed with you in the beginning, as I knew the perfect sincerity behind your abstinence of human blood and your hope that I would abstain too. There was no malice, only a hope that we could live as what we are without being monsters. You will never know how grateful I am for you. Despite the fact that I did leave and partake in the hunting of humans, your total dedication towards being a part of the human community without indulging in their blood, always stuck with me.

You have always wondered why I chose to come back, why did I turn my back on my nature after literally tasting it? You have never asked me this aloud, for which I am grateful. I don't think I could stand the shame of standing before you and telling you the truth to your face, however I feel I am able to write the words. It is the coward's way, yes, but I will take whatever name you choose to give me as long as you spare me from standing before you, my own personal God and uttering these words. This is my confession; please do not judge me Carlisle.

I foolishly thought that if I only hunted the guilty, then I would be saved of the guilt myself. I was so wrong. Their final thoughts swirled around my mind during those dark times and your philosophy began to seem so much greater than I had thought in the beginning. Still, I did not return. This guilt was bearable, though horrible at the same time. My last hunt of a human was the real reason I stopped. She was naught but sixteen with beautiful flowing brown hair and the clearest blue eyes I'd ever seen. She was very upset as she walked through an alleyway; I suppose it was a short cut to her house or something. She was crying and her thoughts were filled with unrecognizable misery. I hesitated at this but I soon gave into my instincts. She smelled different to the others, but somehow more appetizing. In my bloodlust-induced haze, I missed the fact that she was speaking to herself...Or rather what was inside of her. In the beginning, I was drawn to her because she was just as guilty as the others that I had pursued. She had robbed a bank and held a man at knifepoint in the process. She was guilty. That's what I told myself.

I followed her through this ally, quiet as always, positively salivating. Or I would have been if I could salivate. I could not comprehend how this human child, guilty as she was, could smell SO good. She was not my singer, as I did not posess any of the qualities you claimed I would had she been. Either way, she smelled positively exquisite and I could not possibly wait another second before I tasted her. I sprung, catching her from behind. Her feeble human attempt at self defense so very nearly made me laugh. It was pathetic in comparison to my superhuman reflexes. Whilst fighting, we had somehow ended up on the ground, her face down. He thoughts were a tizzy as her heart pumped my delicious sustenence and I finally sunk my teeth into her beautiful, butter-soft neck.

She had no more fight in her, but her final thoughts were this:

"No, please no! Not my baby"

I realized what I had done moments too late. Her body had been drained...By the monster that was me.

The next day there was a story about the young girl found dead in an alleyway. It was said that her and her boyfriend had planned to rob the bank the previous in order to have some funds for their unplanned baby. They claimed that she had been mauled by an animal, but nothing was certain as night crime statistics had risen in the past few years. I realized that I was to blame for this.

I had murdered a young girl. Not quite innocent, but not guilty either. I was a monster. I deserved to die.

The next day I began to wander and within a few days I had found the last town you had resided in. I had just missed you and your beautiful wife, one local said. He went on to speak in wonder of you. You were the greatest thing their town had ever seen, he said.

After this encounter, I tossed asside my plan to wander for eternity and gave myself the mission of finding you. Hoping against hope that a miracle would occur and I could somehow find you, I felt sure that did I Indeed locate you, you would refuse to take me back. I imagined that you would call me names, forbid me from ever contacting you again. In one scenario I invisioned that you would hit me upon my arrival. Somehow, I knew that none of these things would happen, especially that. You are the most caring, gentle man I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, amongst both human and non-human competition. You are also the most non-violent, and that is what made my ridiculous scenario even more ridiculous.

I finally arrived, as you well remember. Broken and completely weighted down by guilt, I needed a home. And you gave me that. You welcomed me in, which was the most loving gesture I had encountered since I left you. Esme came and hugged me tighter than I'd ever been hugged, and you closed the door and locked it, saying that now that all his family was home, there was no need for it to be open. You asked questions, though none too invasive. You somehow had the sense that I did not want to talk about it, and you were right. You simply allowed me to be, while loving me more than I knew anyone could.

You and Esme walked me upstairs, Her holding one of my hands while you stood on my other side with your hand clasped on my shoulder. You showed me to my room, which you said was mine for however long I wanted it. I turned to you and said "Forever". Forever because I could be alone no longer. You were my family, and I was a fool to leave you in the first place. You and Esme loved me, and I loved you both in return.

Years passed and others joined our family. I remained alone amongst you. Long after everyone had departed the living room and you and Esme sat talking in you bedroom, I know you spoke of me. Of how I was alone. Esme worried that I was too young when you changed me, and You worried that there was something wrong with my general makeup. Once, I swear I even heard Emmett entertain the thought that I was gay, though he quickly dismissed this, for lack of a better word, bogus idea when Rosalie sat on his lap. This was followed by some other completely disgusting thoughts that I did my best to tune out.

More years passed and we mover back to Forks, Washington. The wettest place in the continental U.S. This is where I met my beautiful Bella, who as of tomorrow night will be forever mine. Tomorrow I will stand at that altar and say my vows to the woman I love, and who loves me in return. We are the most mis-matched couple ever created, but somehow we have made this work.

Soon, she will be one of us and will be with us for eternity. I see the looks that all of you give her. They are all filled with love and excitement that she will be part of our family. You have all been so enthusiastic, especially you, Carlisle.

And so as I finish off this letter, the last thing I will ever write as a single man, I think back to all of the good you have done for me. You gave me my second chance at life, and while at first I thought that this life was more curse than enchantment, this life is the reason that I have met my Bella. You are the reason that I have met my Bella.

So, I sit here tonight, reminiscing, and I hope that I can one day repay you for all you have done for me. I truly love you Carlisle. You have been many things to me in the past but right now, you are just Carlisle, and that is the greatest thing you could ever have been for me.

Thank you Carlisle, so very much,

I Love You,

Edward


End file.
